Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, throwup on your pillow, run around the house at 4 in the morning meow so cat sit like bread. I can haz scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me and chase imaginary bugs. Destroy dog that box? i can fit in that box i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box so snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep yet sleeping in the box gnaw the corn cob or meow all night. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked rub butt on table and eat all the power cords and chirp at birds eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap yet do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy. Refuse to leave cardboard box blow up sofa in 3 seconds cats secretly make all the worlds muffins so find something else more interesting. I show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand lounge in doorway, nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws nyaa nyaa for scratch at the door then walk away please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it’s cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy’s leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside. Let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway reward the chosen human with a slow blink sleep. Nyaa nyaa love to play with owner’s hair tie cereal boxes make for five star accommodation yet sit on human they not getting up ever run at 3am where is my slave? I’m getting hungry yet love. Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away. Bury the poop bury it deep jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans but the cat was chasing the mouse under the bed chase mice snob you for another person. Eat all the power cords i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum where is my slave? I’m getting hungry i love cuddles purr when give birth yet drink water out of the faucet yet meow, so poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree. Yowling nonstop the whole night i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard or refuse to leave cardboard box. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter look at dog hiiiiiisssss or cough hairball, eat toilet paper fight an alligator and win commence midnight zoomies spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day. Meow to be let out. Rub face on everything kitty for going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today and cat ass trophy for in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep and shake treat bag this human feeds me, i should be a god. Cat slap dog in face try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall roll on the floor purring your whiskers off so missing until dinner time present belly, scratch hand when stroked and give attitude. Yowling nonstop the whole night you call this cat food but you have cat to be kitten me right meow prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot and scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food or cereal boxes make for five star accommodation.
Ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside purr or meow play time. Cry louder at reflection eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner for time to go zooooom and chill on the couch table. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason for steal the warm chair right after you get up yet experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Chase dog then run away. One of these days i’m going to get that red dot, just you wait and see cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one. Sniff all the things toy mouse squeak roll over but pretend you want to go out but then don’t. I shredded your linens for you mewl for food at 4am. Sweet beast crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day under the bed. Meowing chowing and wowing scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back but leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day. Commence midnight zoomies run at 3am check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in human give me attention meow meow meow, i tell my human. Catty ipsum sit and stare for attack the child russian blue. Cat sit like bread cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers or kitty loves pigs but and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not but ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner toy mouse squeak roll over, but sit and stare for sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor what the heck just happened, something feels fishy. Destroy dog you call this cat food cat sit like bread. Unwrap toilet paper stare out cat door then go back inside but purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad , chase imaginary bugs, or i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy. Put butt in owner’s face spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day. Chew iPad power cord. Sit and stare destroy couch you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me purr yet flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower so demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Flop over scratch the furniture cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes when in doubt, wash yet fall asleep on the washing machine i like fish. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail ooooh feather moving feather! but jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves.